External Cephalic Version. That's what I was told I needed at my 36 week pre-natal appointment today. Apparently Baby #4 decided that she wants her head up rather than down. (Can you blame her? Who wants to hang out head-down for a month?)
"I'm not going to lie, the procedure is uncomfortable. And there's only a 50% chance of success rate", the midwife told me with a very serious face.
Sounds good. (not at all)
She gave me homework of exercises, perhaps finding someone to do moxibustion. She also gave me a warning: the baby would need to flip by next week or else we'd schedule my (que doom & gloom music) C-SECTION.
I left a little shocked. Why, after 3 non-complicated pregnancies is this little one breach?
Then the fear set in. C-section? Scalpals? Scars? Long Recovery? Hospital Birth? Questionable bonding with baby? (Thank you Ricki Lake & Business of Being Born for scarring me for life, 7 years ago.)
I watched a youtube video on cephalic version, googled the risks, and my panic grew.
It was like being pregnant for the first time. I frantically called everyone, trying to drum up a reliable resource to flip the baby in the next 5 days. How was I going to get in for an appointment? Was it going to work?
Then something happened.
Peace set in. I knew my answer.
An external cephalic version is not for me. It seems forced and questionable. At least a c-section is guaranteed to deliver the baby. And who knows, baby may flip on her own and all of this stressing will be for nothing.
The lesson for me today is: Sometimes things don't go as planned...and that's ok.
I've done 3 natural childbirths - two at home, one at a birth center. The birth process absolutely sucks in my opinion. But, the outcome is worth it. Seeing the beautiful, angelic face of your child for the first time is an experience that words can never capture. The thing to remember is, this happens whether your baby is delivered naturally, surgically, or through adoption.
Sometimes you just need to let go and trust that there's a plan for you. And that's what I'm going to do.
PS: If you want to read a light hearted c-section post. Check out this little gem.