It’s debatable whether I should even be writing at the moment. I’m now past my due date and frankly, my patience for juuust about everything is nonexistent. I woke up this morning to my toddler screaming and kicking me in the back. This was shortly followed by my husband and older son continuing their morning screen time battle. I had no time to Take Back My Morning, my morning was lamentable right out of the gate.
My midwife appointment this week was super annoying. I keep getting the most negative, doom & gloom "med-wife" in the practice. No matter what, she’s all about bringing up the worst possible outcome.
“Oooohhh…the baby is breached. Sorry, we’ll have to do an ECV. They’re really painful. Poor you.”
“Oooohhh…you don’t want to do the ECV. Sorry, we’ll have to schedule you for a c-section. Poor you.”
“Oooohhh…the baby flipped into the right position. Sorry, she may flip back to breach again. Poor you.”
“Oooohhh…you’re past your due date. We’ll need to induce you if the baby doesn’t come out soon. Poor you.”
The only family support I have is increasingly frequent phone calls inquiring about the baby status. Not one call is, “How are you?” Or, “I remember what it’s like to be super-pregnant, I’m taking your kids for the day so you can relax." And no, coming over here to visit while I watch my kids and entertain you and an additional child doesn’t count. This doesn’t make me feel loved, supported, or like I matter. I feel more like the entertaining story on the tabloid for the month.
And you know what makes it even worse? After the baby comes out, I’ll get a few baby oogling visits right in the beginning and then they’ll dwindle back to nothing. So thanks, but no thanks.
Regarding support, most moms I know are getting crazy amounts. I couldn’t even get one family member to my house when I was close to my due date and my husband was out of the country. You know, just in case I went into labor and had to drive myself and my three kids to the hospital. (Why on earth would I want someone on standby at that time?)
And right now, right here, in all of my annoyance is when the supermom-ness really comes in.
I need to stop raging, take a few minutes and think about what I could do to improve this day. Comparing my situation to others is not going to make it any better. Sitting around, feeling annoyed at my life, also not the answer.
Do I have the answer right now?
But I do know that I need to pick something to improve the day just the littlest bit. Maybe an hour of alone time, maybe going outside and soaking in nature while my kids play on the playground, maybe ignoring the half-hearted baby inquiry phone calls rather than answering them, or maybe requesting my next appointment with another midwife even though they say that’s “not their policy.”
So that’s step one for me. And that’s always the first step for a supermom, taking at least an ounce of control back of whatever situation is presented, and making it work for you.
Is this easy?
It requires taking a step back. It requires taking the emotion out of it. It requires being able to think on your feet and quickly adapt. But, if I can do it right now in all of my pregnant-glory, so can you. Every.Single.Day.
Rock on, Momma. You’ve got this.