For those of you who clicked on this thinking, “Oooohhh, more suggestions to improve myself” (because there aren’t enough of those out there), I want you to rethink this whole thing. In a society where before & after photos are everywhere and makeovers are so mesmerizing, I’m going to stand up and say you don’t need to transform. At all. Let me explain.
My healthy mantra when I’m feeling annoyed at someone/totally disgruntled with humanity is, “Everybody is doing the best they can.”
Ahhh...did you feel that? It makes everything better. And the best part?
It really is true.
It’s true about that friend who called pretending to ask you how you were doing and just when you begin to tell her you’re having the worst day of your life she steamrolls the convo and tells you how a-maaaaa-zing her life is going.
It’s true about the turd that raced in front of you in the mile long check-out lane when you had one item to purchase and he had a bajillion.
It’s even true about your mother in-law who manages to insult you at least every other time you hear from her.
They all, like you, are doing the best they can.
So give yourself a break. Stop hating yourself because you’ve got a muffin top. Or thinking you suck as a Mom because you took your kids to Chic-fil-a for lunch this week…twice. You’re not a failure because your projects, your house, or your hair is never Pinterest-worthy. And for God sake, you’re not a complete failure if you end up being “just a mom”.
You’re not going to do everything perfectly.
You’re definitely going to eff up. A lot.
You’re going to piss people (and yourself) off.
You’re going to have what ifs and regrets and spend way too much time asking yourself unanswerable questions.
But you’re always doing the best you can. So cut yourself some slack and stop thinking of how you can transform.
Instead, try this.
When one of my boys are acting insane out I ask them if they’re being the best version of themselves. And it’s craaa-zy what happens. They’ll think about it quietly for .2 seconds and then say “no” in their regular, non-child-monster voice. Then I ask them what they can change to be the best version of themselves. I’m not telling them they’re bad, I’m not telling them they need to be something they’re not. I’m asking them how, in this very moment, they’re measuring up to how they know they can be.
After doing this for a few months with my kids, it dawned on me I need to apply this to myself. After all, I'm the same as them, just a little older and questionably more wise.
So now, when I morph into my evil twin I ask myself, “Am I being the best version of myself?” and the answer is always a resounding “Aw hell no!” And then I can change. No guilt. No shame. No bad feelings. Just a good ol’ slap in the face reality check.
Try it! And save the transforming for the robots in disguise. Because you, friend, are fabulous...especially when you're being the best version of yourself.